Mixed Emotions.

I have had an emotional rollercoaster this week. On friday my neighbor called and asked me what i was doing all day. I said i had some errands to run and i needed to do the dreaded grocery shopping. She asked me if she could take brody to the discovery park in cedar city and bring him back later. I said that i would be needing to go to walmart so i would just drop him off. She veto'd that idea sensing that i was nervous and said "no i will pick him up on my way out." You see she is a mother of four and doesn't understand my nervousness. I have never let brody go with anyone but my family. It isn't about not trusting her, she is amazing, it's more about me. So for the half hour before she came, my heart was racing I thought of hundreds of things that could happen, and i called my mom, caprice, and lindee about 15 times. I just needed them to tell me that i wasn't pyscho. He got in the car with no hesitation and waved goodbye. I walked in the house and fought back my pathetic tears. I packed up bently and went to town. I only went to two spots and skipped grocery shopping, and came home. I waited and waited. I tried to do things around the house to keep me busy. FINALLY the doorbell rang and there was heather (my neighbor) she said he was fantastic and had a blast. She said he made her laugh the whole time. and then she asked if she could take him home to play with her son. I said sure.
So i made it. My first time and only a few tears were shed. Please all of you out there tell me that I am not the only one who feels this way??!!
Next was today. Bently's reflux has taken a turn for the worse. I will be sleeping on the couch tonight so that he can sleep in the bouncer which keeps him very elevated. He threw up 20 or more times today and screamed for 6 hours. I finally got him to sleep. I laid him in his bassinette and within 10 minutes he was crying. I researched the internet and found out some good tips but it still is so hard. I wish that i could take him to the dr and that he would make him better. And having the experiance of working with a dr, they feel the same way especially with infants. but unfortunatly it doesn't work that way and with reflux theonly thing to do is make him comfortable, give him his meds, and he will have to grow out of it. So that has been my weekend. Hope yours was wonderful....